Jo Robertson
“When women see a need, we meet it - and I am so proud to be part of that.”
Fifteen years ago, Jo Robertson began her career helping children and teens heal from trauma. After confronting her own struggles with sex and intimacy, she pivoted—eight years ago—to specialize in sex therapy. Today, she’s a leading voice in sexual wellbeing, connection, and pleasure.
Through her online courses and private practice, Jo empowers individuals to embrace their sexuality, supports couples in deepening intimacy, and guides parents through the complexities of the digital age. Her advocacy spans TEDx stages, national media, and even reality TV—where she raises awareness on consent, safe sex, and online safety. Jo’s work is grounded in a simple truth: “Sex is a learned behaviour, and many of us didn’t get a great education.” Her mission is to change that.
Jo was the 180th story we featured in our 365 Days, 365 Women project back in 2021. We’re proud to share her story again today.
P: Please introduce yourself! Where are you based and how do you spend your time?
J: My name is Jo. I’ve been with my husband Dave for 17 years; I have 3 boys who are 11,10 & 7. I’m based in Auckland.
I spend my time across multiple different roles. As a therapist, I’m an advocate for children online safety, through public speaking and creating online resources.
“We think sex should be fast, hot, easy, and theatrical. However for most people that isn’t easily achievable.”
P: You’ve been a sex therapist for nearly 20 years—what inspired you to enter this field, and what key insights have you gained about sexual health and relationships?
J: I’ve been a therapist for 15 years, but specialised in sex for 8 years. Prior to that I saw mostly children and adolescents with physical or sexual trauma. I was inspired to enter this field initially because I found sex challenging; it wasn’t easy for me and I had to seek out a therapist which was life changing. I was also hearing from friends increasingly that they were finding things hard and I knew I needed to learn more. I loved learning about the body, the hormones, but even more so about how the world we live in shapes our expectations and norms.
P: How do societal norms and culture shape modern expectations of intimacy and connection?
J: Significantly. Media has the biggest impact - we think sex should be fast, hot, easy, and theatrical. However for most people that isn’t easily achievable - if you’re a parent, you’re too exhausted for theatrics; if you have sexual trauma, its not going to be “easy”; and if you’ve got a vagina “fast” sex probably isn’t going to bring you pleasure. So our messages are all mixed up, and we need more education about what our bodies and minds need to have healthy, pleasurable sex.
P: Why are conversations about consent more important than ever, and how can we approach them effectively?
J: I think the concept of “full and enthusiastic” is going to be core to our sex and consent messaging if we are going to change the stats on sexual harm. Ideally, people also give verbal consent, so that we aren’t solely relying on body language for information - as is usually the case, particularly for our young people. We also know that people need to hear the same message many times before they adopt it - so a couple of times during sex ed at school just isn’t going to cut it.
P: As a parent of three boys, how has your professional expertise influenced the way you approach parenting and discussions about relationships?
J: I’d like to think I create a really open environment for my kids - to ask anything they want, to feel celebrated for their curiosity. I like to front foot conversations with them, so that I'm the first place they hear information from (particularly about sex, bodies, consent, relationships etc) and then what they see or hear after that they can filter through the lens of what i've told them.
I also know that information is coming towards our kids earlier and earlier - younger than they are developmentally ready, so it’s my job to help them prepare for that, and navigate it well.
“We need more education about what our bodies and minds need to have healthy, pleasurable sex.”
P: You’ve delivered a TEDx talk and speak globally on intimacy and sexual culture. What key message do you hope resonates most with audiences?
J:
That we need to talk to our kids about sex, porn, consent, and bodies early and often.
That its very “normal” to go through challenging seasons in your sex life - that its ok to be “figuring it out”, the most important part is to be doing that alongside your partner - that you are a team. If you feel distant or unsupported by them, you dont have a sex issue, you have a relationship issue thats likely impacting your sex life. Theres many more but thats what immediately comes to mind!
“We need an online safety bill focused on children and adolescents.”
P: What changes should governments and tech companies urgently make to protect young people in today’s digital landscape?
J: We need an online safety bill focused on children and adolescents, with a independent commissioner that can move with trends and has a mandate to deal with objectionable content, online harm, and develop nationwide campaigns that will better help parents to know what steps to take in their homes.
P: What advice would you offer to someone struggling with their sexual wellbeing or relationship challenges?
J: Do my online course (haha!). It’s a joke but also true; it’s possible that getting some new information and creating an opportunity to talk to each other could radically transform things for your relationship. If it doesnt help enough, then seek out a sex therapist.
I created the course because therapy is expensive and we actually don’t have very many therapists, so the course can be either an alternative or it can be the next step in your journey before seeing a professional (who you may end up not needing).
Check out Jo’s “Better Sex” course here ($97 NZD).
P: What does womanhood mean to you, and how has it influenced your journey?
J: For me, being a woman means occasionally feeling like the underdog but then coming out fighting. Women are often deep feelers and also great activators - we are the backbone of essential professions and charities in this country, which to me shows that when women see a need, we meet it - and I am so proud to be part of that.
Connect with Jo:
Website - jorobertson.org
Instagram - @jorobertson.therapy